By Mike Johnson

Golden State Warriors head coach Mark Jackson, choked back tears and struggled through a prepared statement as he informed the local media that he had euthanized his 24 year old point guard Steph Curry, in an empty warehouse outside of Oracle Arena early Monday morning.

“I regret to inform you that after 5 major ankle injuries in 14 months and countless setbacks in rehab, we have put Steph down.  It was becoming clear that he would never be able to sustain the high level of play he had established his rookie season, and we did what we had to do,” sobbed Jackson as he stared at the blood stained pistol on the podium.

After being selected with the 7^th pick in the 2009 NBA draft, the mild mannered Davidson grad took the league by storm and delighted Warriors fans with a unique skill set that included selfless ball handling, clutch outside shooting, and uncanny rebounding abilities for his size.  The son of beloved former NBA player Dell Curry, Steph averaged 18 points, 5.8 assists, 5 rebounds, and 1.7 steals over his first 2 seasons before a litany of ankle injuries put his rapid ascent to superstardom on hold.

Jackson lured Curry to the Oracle complex with the promise of a 3-point contest and a Sponge Bob jumping castle.  Reports indicate that in an effort to prove his recovering health to his coach, Curry jogged 4 miles to the arena where Jackson was waiting with a concealed .32 caliber handgun. A whimpering Jackson then asked Curry to recount the spring night in 2010 when he went for a triple double against the Knicks, while the coach prepared the weapon.

“I wanted to do this the right way so I called my old buddy Chris (Mullin),” explained Jackson,  “He had shot people before, plenty of people, and he helped me through.  The entry point was the exact midline of Steph’s forehead, 4 finger widths down from the base of the forelock.”

“I loved playing with Steph,” cried Warriors power forward David Lee. “He had strong legs and real pretty hair.”

Warriors GM Larry Riley offered condolences to fans and loved ones, and gave some insight into the decision making process in the weeks leading up to this unexpected personnel move.

“Believe me, after we spent all that money on his off season surgery and rehab, we were tempted to put him down after he turned the ankle in game 1. Game 1!  Mark took Steph out on a fishing trip.  Steph never knew that Mark had a gun in the tackle box…”

Jackson took over the story, “…I was reaching into the box, thinking about the salary cap ramifications of killing a player, wondering how things went so wrong, when a monarch butterfly landed on his perfect wrist.  The autumn sunset was reflecting off of his pale green eyes and I thought, ‘lets give the swelling another 12 hours, see if we can’t work this out another way.’  In the end, well…”

Curry’s favorite ice cream was rocky road and he loved Saturday morning cartoons.

The cash starved Warriors mulled auctioning off the surprise execution to Curry’s fantasy team owners, knowing that the line of blood thirsty GM’s would surely wrap twice around the Golden Gate Bridge, but Jackson knew as coach and mentor it was his finger that had to pull the trigger.

“Since I took this job I’ve had to make many painstaking decisions such as benching Dorrell Wright, and trading Monta Ellis. Euthanizing Steph Curry definitely ranks among the most difficult,” admitted a sweaty, stoic Jackson.

The Warriors are currently 21-32, 13 games behind the division leading Lakers, and as of 5 minutes ago boast a completely clean injury report.

Mike Johnson is a staff writer for TradeDebate and an actor living in Chicago.  His original song "Lin City" can be found on youtube, and he can be reached with question or comment at MikeJohnson683@gmail.com.